There is some Man Uts exuberance in the media.
Full kit tanker
Mediawatch had to double-check the Premier League table on Monday morning and confirm that yes, Manchester United are still in 13th, a full 11 points away from a likely Champions League qualification place.
Because, well, this confused us in the Daily Telegraph:
Manchester United oil tanker may finally be turning
Which is one hell of a way to report a 3-0 win over one of the worst teams in Premier League history who have now lost six straight Premier League games without scoring a single goal. Yet this enormous, cracking, sluggish Manchester United oil tanker couldn’t, without a doubt, snag aground in Leicester City’s calming blue waters.
Manchester United’s supporters loudly deny that Ruben Amorim will restore glory days, and John Percy writes that it eventually appears that this enormous oil tanker is beginning to rot. Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho both put an end to their long-awaited targets in the final two league games of the year as United won consecutive games for the first time this year.
Pesky truth: Manchester United drew 1-1 with Arsenal in their most recent Premier League game, which is unheard of. Another obnoxious fact: Manchester United are 13th in the Premier League form table, having essentially only defeated two relegation-bound teams in their last six games. United are up, again, and obviously and plainly back, aside from that. Scream.
When is a battle really a pick? David McDonnell’s performance in the Daily Mirror is a reach
United extended their unbeaten run to seven games in all competitions, with Fernandes providing two assists and scoring the third to lift Amorims side 13th. Essentially speaking, they might be unbeaten in seven, but call us conventional, but we do know Fulham consider themselves to be the real winners of the FA Cup match between the two clubs two weeks ago. After all, winning the sentence shootout placed them in the lead. That’s a pretty big idea. Oddly enough, David McDonnell of the Daily Mirror reported on March 2 that Amorim had lost 10 of his 25 games in charge, which is a dismal return for a man who had been one of Europe’s brightest young managers before being destroyed by the reputation-wrecker that is the modern-day United. It has now mysteriously been reduced to just one of seven fits in an unbroken run
. The Manchester United media
The times they are
Talking of the Manchester United media brings us thisWhat Manchester United staff did after Rasmus Hojlund scored
shows how their season is changing so much that they are now up 13th for the first time since early February. Yell. What did the Manchester United employees do, and
?
Some United employees broke media package protocol and celebrated more madly than they did when Amad won the FA Cup quarter-final against England a year ago.
Your description of that, men, is real desperation and comfort. Even the club’s season will change, and it will work.
Statistics and sh*t
Forgive Mediawatch for the self-indulgent geekery for a second, but this particular brand of lazy-arsed shiteexplains how 11th place in the Premier League could almost always enter Europe this year, it just takes a peculiar and largely absurd set of circumstances to occur. Second, given that Newcastle have won the Carabao Cup last, they are much, far more likely than Liverpool have ever been in need of a Conference League spot.
But congratulations to The Sun for seeing this tweet
The Premier League outline a scenario where the ELEVENTH-placed team could qualify for Europe this season. photograph. twitter.com/41t9N61jed
Ben Jacobs ( @JacobsBen ) March 16, 2025
and somehow getting entirely the wrong end of the stick.
Oh and we feel duty-bound to point out that Newcastle do not have to accomplish in the bottom five for this situation to arise. Let’s face it, it’s hardly the most unlikely component of a crazy calculation. How an almost impossible set of circumstances prevented the eleventh place in the Premier League from entering Europe, according to
the article if it really must get read.
Villa winning the Champions League? Yes, it’s possible. Best half of Manchester United No f***ing prospect.
Study: Premier League winners and losers: Chelsea, Bissouma, Van Nistelrooy condemned by Forest, Silva and Brentford
