Kai Havertz may be relieved to learn that his injuries setback, nightmare, has given him the opportunity to earn Proper Striker status. Additionally, there is more nonsense about Harry Kane and even more crap about Arsenal,[19459003[]. Kai Havertz: An apology
We issue the following apology on behalf of the entire UK football media. Kai Havertz, an Arsenal scorer.
Previous reporting on the former Chelsea forward may have given the impression that he is not actually a proper striker, and his presence in Arsenal’s squad a clear indicator of how far away they are from scoring goals.
We may or may not have urged Arsenal to sign a Proper Striker to prevent Havertz from completely ruining their season due to his incompetence throughout the entire month of January.
We now realise that his tally of 15 goals this season is absolutely fine, and that his injury during Arsenals warm-weather training camp this week therefore represents a fresh injury crisis ( the Mirror), a fresh nightmare injury concern ( the Mirror again ), a fresh injury nightmare (Daily Star), and a plunge into injury crisis (Daily Mail) as key man suffers scare (Daily Express) to leave Arsenal without any strikers (The Sun).
We are delighted to correct the record.
MORE ARSENAL NEWS ON F365]
Manchester United slump shock but Salah, Spurs, and a sacking nailed in kneejerk reactions
 , Champions League quiz: 365 seconds to name the top 10 Premier League players who scored the most minutes
Harry’s game
was a man who never signed, despite all
Mediawatch has long been interested in how overrated the polite has become in your typical present sports headline armoury.
We’ve recently experimented with the idea of a headline word energy ranking, which is only likely to desire us and a few other people (unfortunately, this is a limitation that has previously prevented us ), and we were starting to consider whether or not we might actually be in the top.
Its value is threefold: it serves as a deception diffuser and bullsh*t amplifier, allowing the gathering and dissemination of an attractive but completely illogical idea from two entirely different events. The best part is that neither of those events needs to be bullsh*t, which is definitely at its most powerful in headlines when combined with one sloppily far-fetched but intoxicating one.
Which leads us in the most roundabout of ways to the Mirrorand this magnificent bollocks. Fleet information: Harry Kane’s move decision as pay for striker was explained
We were assured that you, like us, had now assumed a few things about this headline before clicking on it. It does, after all, have many of its own answers, doesn’t it?
Clue one: It is in the Mirror. Clue two: Squad information: Tabloid websites adore these roundups of the day’s information for a a particular club. Not because it offers a helpful, reputable, and reliable support, but because it is a one-stop shop for fans to get all the information they need about the happenings at their club. Fans are being deceived into giving their clicks away, not because it offers a valuable, reliable service. No, these websites favor these reports in particular because they permit the use of a headline-style linker between two completely unrelated events.
Clue three: when. our favorite from the past.
However, the details of how this entirely deceptive yet technically incorrect headline was constructed also merit gathering.
The transport verdict for Arsenal? Does it originate from Bayern Munich, Harry Kane, or perhaps dearly beloved Charlie Kane? Not in all cases. No, great God. Of course, Joe Cole, who has admittedly being realistically optimistic that Harry Kane probably won’t join Arsenal, does it.
Thats that dealt with. What about the striker’s bet, however, is that, you ask? Arsenal: Has it really made a charge for Harry Kane?
Again, no, of course they havent. But did they actually make an offer for Ollie Watkins? And he is, after all, a winger? And Football. A story from in London explains some of the ins and outs of the bid’s timing in relation to Jhon Durans ‘ departure from Villa.
And sport, if you believe Joe Cole’s assertion that Arsenal won’t sign Harry Kane. London explains why Arsenal made an offer for Ollie Watkins, feeds that into the fantastic Achieve headline-o-matic, and out bursts that unimaginable nonsense.
Captain Obvious
Declan Rice has said some unremarkable things about the Arsenal season that have become guff almost everywhere, but not more so than Express[19459007[]. Declan Rice promises great things for Arsenal in his clear message to Liverpool
. You now know how many times he mentions Dublin in this clear message. It’s certainly zero. That is really quite clear.
He did say this, nevertheless.
Theres still a really long way to go. Whatever the circumstances, the boss said in a media conference last week, we are the only ones who care about ourselves.
That is, in fact, the reverse of a text to Liverpool, isn’t it? either visible or not. Another difficult day for Mediawatchs ‘ losing ( lost ) contest the notion that thoughts have a meaning.
After burners
More words and meaning content, were afraid, as we charitably give the Daily Stara tiny little helping hand with their headlines. What the Daily Star have written is that
Pep Guardiola made view clear on Jadon Sancho six years before Chelsea aces petulant dig at Man Utd
And even that is generous, given Guardiola’s statement that I don’t know why Sancho left the club in 2017 was saying,” I don’t know why Sancho left the club in 2017. ]
Capitalisation of the Day
From the Mirror :
Sergio Aguero has been left with egg on his face after promising to cut off his TESTICLES if , Manchester City  , lost to , Real Madrid.
