The 2024/25 Premier League is now the Worst Premier League Season Ever[1945000[]REVEALED. Been an utter disaster, hasnt it? terrible winter. Heres only 10 of the several million reasons why. There is no point pretending to be of much use to the rest of us, despite the fact that this is not the first time a subject race has taken place and won’t be the last.
We all enjoy a title race, dont we? It’s the one thing that doesn’t require group involvement for you to be invested in. The twists and turns of a season-long tale combined with existing grudges and rivalries and foolish hatreds may eventually lead to you settling on your represented, or perhaps quite often more effectively, least bad choice for who wins. A Proper Title Race
is not very difficult to ask, and it ought to be the least bit of a league that considers itself to be the best in the world. La Liga has a name culture. A subject race is in the series A. Yet the Bundesliga is giving the plan a rewrite afterwards. Without a title race, Ligue 1 is the only group that even remotely approaches a main European league.
We demand a title race. And the distressing realization that we have only ever encountered one is when Man City are in ithas dawned upon us. In the times when they often get bothered, anyone else simply gets to p*ss it.
A completely powerful champion team that isn’t even that good. England are a very good team, they have certainly been the best staff in the country this year. Given that they are 12 items clear,this is not meant to be as blithely as it sounds. There isnt some great secret about how they are 12 items obvious. They pass the vision exam.
They look like the best team in the country, and they are the best team in the country. There is no chance that the Premier League will choose a livid fighter.
But are they really Manchester City in-their-pomp great? Also Jurgen Klopp’s England in-their-pomp is it good? Do they look like a group with the chance to start a new era of hegemony? Do any of us truly believe that Slots Liverpool will soon meet Guardiola’s or Ferguson’s United in the conversation?
Are they f*ck. They are a fantastic squad, but they shouldn’t be that bad when it comes to being title-sewn-up by March.
They are, and we do nowadays have tangible evidence of this, not even as great as PSG, meaning the Premier League doesnt actually have that pardon for being the only other major league to fail to deliver a title race this year.
Multe of this comes off as criticism of Liverpool. It isnt, really. It criticizes essentially everyone else. It is not Liverpools problem that nobody has been able to live with them being slightly better than anyone expected them to be. They shouldn’t be concerned about that and do not.
But Arsenal, City, Chelsea and the two clown-car f*ck-ups of the obliterated Big Six really should care, and should, frankly, be ashamed of themselves. Even with Liverpool dominating everything, Mo Salah is dominating with six goals and seven assists more than anyone else.
Do we really care about the chase for the Golden Boot? No. But it would be nice if there were one, wouldnt it?
We can at least comfort ourselves that in discussions of a Premier League that doesn’t include such matches, there are no such doubts about the quantifiably world-class Salah, whose disappearing acts in finals and big knockout games need not concern us.
Nevertheless, the criticism of everyone else involved for failing to make any kind of fight of it still applies. However, we are fair and will only permit one player per pass. And that player is Bukayo Saka whose 10 assists from 16 appearances suggests he would at least have managed to make Salah ( 17 in 29 ) work for the playmaker award that has definitely always existed and been talked about before the last few years. He’s going to p*** the PFA awardof course.
The earliest ever end to a relegation fight
The bottom three have, frankly, been a disgrace. Even Ipswich, who for a while managed to give as good as they could without getting the results they deserved, is now seeing the results they deserve.
Never in Premier League history have the bottom three been as bad as this. They have now amassed one point more than West Ham did during their relegation season, which ended with 87 games.
The combined 43 points accrued by Southampton, Ipswich and Leicester is nine fewer than any other bottom three has managed at this stage of a season. And that placed third in the previous season.
Worse still, the gap to 17th is now an absurd nine points. Wolves are almost certainly already scoring enough points to maintain their composure with the last quarter of the season, even though they are still struggling at below a point per game. That cant be right, can it?
Not only is nine points unquestionably the largest gap between the 17th and 18th at this point in the season, but it’s also the second time in Premier League history that it has exceeded three.
And theres not even any hint of the usual trick relegation battlers pull of starting to pick up more points as the season progresses. The bottom three have actually gotten worse.
Southampton have one win against Ipswich and 11 defeats in their last 12 games. In their final 14 games, Leeds has one win and 13 losses. Ipswich are the form side among the bottom three having managed five points in their last 13 games. With an 11-game winning streak, Wolves have been completely free of trouble.
The Spurs Chuckletime Clusterf*ck Variety Show
And the sheer, spectacular incompetence of that bottom three has meant that even the complete and utter collapse of two of the old Big Six isnt the story it should have been, because neither of them have ever quite been in the relegation trouble they ought to have been.
Fair play to the ridiculous team that made up Ange Postecoglous, they succeeded heroically. Keeping faith with Ange long after it was entirely clear it was never going to work. Ipswich and Leicester’s home games are truly above and beyond, and they still have a chance to complete that particular hat-trick of scorn when Southampton call next month.
The Leicester defeat did briefly raise the genuine prospect of something truly hilarious coming to pass, but Spurs then accidentally won their next three league games in between going out of both cups and that, sadly, was the end of that. Spurs have, to their great credit, begun extolling the notion that their struggles were caused by injuries by continuing to be utterly sh*t despite having all of their players back.
Their Premier League season is now done, with the remaining weeks spent sacking off league games admittedly in a way that is quite hard to differentiate from all their earlier defeats in the adorable yet surely wrong-headed belief that they might be able to win the Europa League.
Honestly, see the above for the Man United Chuckletime Clusterf*ck Variety Show. Had it come with a genuine threat of relegation then this might have been more entertaining but instead its just contributed to the general hollowing-out of the overall quality of The Best League In The World.
United are finishing the season with a weak and flaky squad that is now forced to play a system that almost none of them likes.
Its been quite funny at points, but like Spurs United have simply overdone it. You should apologize for your terrible seasons a little bit more. Spurs and United have gone too far, to the extent that their defeats no longer even catch the eye. Losing at Old Trafford in
used to be a national historic moment. Now they can lose at home to, say, Palace or Brighton or whoever and literally nobody notices or cares. Again,
The bottom three agreed that this excessive consumption of the s*tty pudding might have been tolerateable, but the bottom three put an end to that. Specifically in Uniteds case, because 16 of the 37 points they have somehow managed to pathetically cobble together this season have come in their six games against the Doomed Threewith just 21 from the other 23. What was initially funny has just gotten too repeatent in
Like Spurs. Sure, its possible to just keep repeating the same joke again and again until it does become funny again, but theres an art to that far beyond this pair of absolute wastrels. Not Stewart Lee, you are. Youre not even Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes. You will never be like that.
West Ham and being careful what you wish for
This one genuinely infuriated us for a good half a season, but does at least now show some signs of sorting itself out for the best.
When West Ham dared to remove David Moyes from his role as the lone football player after two years of miserably sh*te league football, the media assumed that winning the Europa Conference would give him a job for life unlike many Hammers.
We knew that the first sign of post-Moyes trouble would be greeted by a tidal wave to patronising tut-tutting Careful What You Wish For missives from the press, and lo it came to pass. The key thing to remember is that West Ham had made the ultimate mistake by replacing a proper British manager with a foreigner, and consequently, David Moyes, despite the fact that they were never actually any worse than David Moyes.
But the actual key thing is that this was never what West Ham fans had wished for. They didn’t want Moyes to be removed so they could bring him in instead of a flakier Spanish-style. They wanted something watchable, and that really isnt much to ask.
There are hints that Graham Potter, who is English, might be able to help them, which is a plus but also has a bit of a nerd, which is a bad and very foreign managerial trait, so he must still be treated with suspicion.
TL, DR: We will only in future be accepting Careful What You Wish For reprimands for fans of clubs who got what they wished for. The Premier League will get five places in next seasons Champions Leagueuntil you realize Chelsea or Manchester City are the likely beneficiaries, which turns out to be a very boring get-out-of-jail-freecard for a failing Big Club.
The flipside of that, of course, is genuinely interesting and new teams in the top four itself but dont think about that too much right now because it doesnt remotely fit our agenda okay.
Having assumed that 11th place might be eligible for the Europa Conference League
Each season produces one of these scenarios, and this one is the most stupid to date. Yes, it is technically possible for the team that finishes 11th in the Premier League to qualify for Europe. However, it won’t happen,
. Chiefly because as well as all manner of perfectly predictable things like Aston Villa winning the Champions League or Bournemouth winning the FA Cup it also requires either Manchester United or Tottenham to finish in the top half. Then, there are fictitious possibilities followed by taking the p*ss.
Chelsea being good enough for just long enough that everyone had to admit they were wrong about Enzo Maresca before he immediately proved them right
Lets face it, absolutely none of us like being proved wrong. However, it is irksome beyond belief when a manager is later shown the wrong by by repeating all of his mistakes from the previous year at Leicester to in fact demonstrate that we were right all the way through.
Still, a valuable lesson learned. No more recognizing our error. We still be sticking rigidly to all our guns from now on. For this reason, Nottingham Forest are falling to the ground and we will not step down.
